Reality cracking tricks

Well, I was not sure about including this essay in the reality cracking section, when I did read it the first time. Then I thought: 'what the heck: let's see the reactions of my readers...'
I know, this is a little on the border between reality cracking and simple collections of 'how top be happy' bogus tricks. Yet some of these tricks are nice enough, the carpe diem attitude is a great idea for sure, and, besides, I simply could not resist publishing the 'barbed wire' excellent trick that you can easily implement in order to get rid of cars in some areas... (come to think of it, there's for instance a little square, surrounded by trees, in the town where I live, that would be soo nice if it would NOT be littered by cars :-)

Wilson's REVERSING STRESS (more "modern Zen" reality cracking methods)

OK, I am actually working for the 'advertisement enemies', yet I have followed fravia's reality cracking section since that first formidable essay by +ORC about supermarket enslavement techniques that set the ball rolling. I must say that (most of) this stuff is truly among the biggest treasures hidden inside our deep web, and I'm really glad I found and could read it. I just thought I had to offer something in exchange.

After having read Hedwig Blastock's Anti-consumistic frugality tricks, an essay about how to resist the advertisement lure (a lot of 'Auntie Ann Advices', according to fravia+) I decided to post a personal contribution that could somehow be classified as well among those 'Auntie Ann Advices' (hey, may be you should open an 'Auntie Ann' section ;-[] In fact I believe this kind of 'Antie Ann Advices' to be quite interesting (and wish all Auntie Anns of the world would actually contribute with such advices).

I would like to share with you some 'reversing techniques' you can use against various forms of STRESS: and in particular the stress that comes from the fact that this society is massively stealing your time (and hitherto your life) away.

'Oh man!' -I hear your nauseated screams- 'we'r not stressed, we'r a bunch of young crackers! What the heck is this essay, man?' You'r dead wrong, friends: the society we live in is so much profit-oriented, that your only 'social value' is that a (great) part of your time can be taken away (actually: raubed) for free. From this simple fact comes all the stress you (should) feel, and if you don't notice it there are only two possibilities: either you'r too dumb to notice your own stress or you are really one of the few lucky ones that are really not stressed (and I would not count much on this latter possibility if I were you ;-[]

Since you are (or you are going to be) real wizard reversers, learn these simple reversing tricks, you will be able to thank me later, once you will have understood.

So, let's get (at least a part of) OUR TIME BACK!

Auntie Ann's 'Reversing time' easy tricks, by Paul Wilson

* concentrate on silence, get its quiet and carry it with you. Noise is enslavement.
* waste time on frivolous activities, nothing more enslaving that continuously concentrating on hard-working "success-oriented" absolutely useless crap.
* choose calm friends and people that are not 'career' or 'commercial oriented' as companions, this will help you quite a lot. Forget the other ones, they are only zombies.
* 'hear' yourself breathing, (this may sound funny only if you never did any Zen at all) a good idea would be to do that in a quiet and DARK place, believe it or not.
* take on changes ONE AT THE TIME, don't lump changes into one big masochistic event.
* have a HUGE fruit bowl on your table, the better stocked it is, the less likely you are to turn to stress-enhancing snack plastic foods. If you have kids or a lot of friends in your house (as you should, both of them) then have A LOT of huge fruit bowls around... Greek philosophs knew this trick 2500 years ago.
* worry when the time comes... easier to say than to do it, yet most stress worries are "future based" and will actually never happen.
* wear sensible shoes: wearing comfortable shoes is almost as relaxing as wearing no shoes at all, no wonder that trends and fashions try to impose you absurd looking, idiotically high heel (or high plant) useless stressing shoes. And no: 'nike' or 'adidas' plastic tennis shoes are NOT sensible nor conformable... consult a reflexologist if you don't understand the subject.
* physical contact is FUNDAMENTAL for all anti-stress, time-reappropriation techniques. I have noticed that +ORC wrote that he was massaged by a girl 'half his age'. That's a very good idea: the human touch is one of the surest ways of unburdening stresses, just as the embrace of a parent soothes the upset child, the simplest touch sometimes work miracles... and most ancient "miracles" were actually nothing else than touches, if I'm not mistaken ;-[]
* Have someone brush your hairs (and take the time to brush your beloved one's hairs): slowly, methodically, extensively. (There are quite a lot of acupressure points on your skull, duh).
* Massage is one of the most pleasurable ways to be soothed into a state of relaxation.

Learn the 'carpe diem' techniques from little kids, watch how they live every moment for the pleasure of that moment and try to learn it... that's one of the first things our society takes you away: in order to consume you'r not EXPECTED to enjoy your present and you are continuously and purposely kept in a 'what more do I need now to be happy' absurd state of mind. As soon as kids are 6-7 (now even sooner) they are zombizied by school and peer pressure into little consumistic idiots, that are never happy and have only time for peer pressure dictated (most moronic) activities.

Concentrate on yourself at least one hour a day (shut yourself from interruption, walk, take your bike, whatever, but be ALONE and speak to yourself: now sort your worries out and when the time is up, stop worrying ;-[]

Walk every day -it's the most relaxing way to get from A to B.

If the place where you live is not green enough, join local groups and fight! Limit traffic, reduce car lanes, create green areas, reduce parking places (the less parking places, the less cars will pester you, it's as simple as that), remember that the more cars/noise/carbon dioxide/malls you have in your surroundings, the more you personally loose in terms of stress, and health. On the other hand, the more plants, green, bikes, small shops, walking areas you have in your surroundings the more you personally gain, in terms of quality of life (and value of your house). A good idea, in order to drastically diminish cars in your area (if all 'legal' means fails) is the 'barbed wire' trick: buy (cheap) barbed wire, then cut the spikes out and 'seed' enough little spike-lumps -for instance once every couple of weeks- in a town area that you yourself have decided to declare car-free. Amazing how good this method works in order to reduce traffic.

Learn Tai Chi (or at least the basic Tai Chi exercises), that's a real secret to loose stress!

Gently rest the thumb and fingertips of one hand against the corresponding thumb and fingertips of the other. Just a light touch. Breathe slowly for sixty seconds. Allow the calm to overtake you. Forget stress. A good idea is also to put your feet up (for improving circulation... after all, we have not been originally made to walk upright

Wear loose garments (blue jeans are a no no article), natural fabrics (line!) and light colors (that's why yogis wear white). This will help much more than you could think in your daily struggle against constrainments. Don't underestimate this aspect!

Remove your wristwatch (or sell it). Learn how to 'feel' the time, don't let time control you more than necessary. Listen, you'r most probably NOT an Airbus pilot nor a brain surgeon (if you are, you better keep your watch), so you probably DO NOT REALLY need your wristwatch at all. Make a simple experiment: take note of how oft you'll look at your wristwatch and take note of how many times it was really (really!) necessary. You'll be amazed.

Do not drive (if you only can avoid it). Driving is one of the most stressing activities of this planet. Take a back seat, a taxi, a tram, a bus, whatever. Spend the journey doing something useful (like reading or thinking) and let somebody else drive, he will collect the stress, the poor moron, you'll be free.

Recognize the fundamental difference between having and living.

Do, every now and then , things you WOULD NOT normally do and use your time to appreciate the changes. This may vary from taking a different route home from work (or get off the bus a stop earlier) to going to the Opera. Just notice how you'll feel immediately better as soon as the routine feeling is contrasted. Break the patterns as often as you can: sit where you would not normally sit, think the way you would not normally think. Spend a few minutes not being a cog in the machine... take a walk around the block or whatever instead of watching useless television. Abandon your routine and add vitality to your day. Talk to strangers and absorb the differencies.

Slow down your movements, relax your gestures, be calm. This help much more than you would believe.

Learn things you want to know, discover new aspects of life. This is a powerful anti-stress strategy, as you probably already know if you'r reading this.

Make love with your partner as often as you (both) feel like it and take all the time of the world to do it (this is extremely important to fight stress). Contrary to what you may believe, you have all the time in the world to do whatever you choose. Don't forget it, never.

This you can start right now: IGNORE THE PHONE. Leave the next phone ringing and you'll quickly understand that really important calls always ring back. Of course you should absolutely avoid GSM and cellular phones: those gadgets are only evident slave-collars and automated stress-collectors.

Look up towards the sky. Up your eyes, up towards the sky, right now! People don't look at the sky (nor at the stars during the night) any more. There are no advertisement there (or at least not yet), and most humans are probably already a little agoraphobic. Reverse the trend: focus on distant natural scenes and relax your eyes. Your body will follow.

Float as often as you can (in a swimming pool or even a bathtub) and think. Gravity is stress and 'unthinking'.

Learn gardening... a job that no computer will ever be able to overtake... as things are developing it's easy to see that, for instance, lawyers are dead meat, translators don't have any future and doctors are sitting ducks... yet gardeners will always have a job. Gardeners are moreover among the most calm and relaxed people you'll ever meet (most of them do not wear wristwatches, btw ;-[]

(I know this is a difficult one, but, hey, you wanted zen advices...) Be up for the sunrise! The moments before sunrise are the most precious of the day... it is no coincidence that yogi and ascetics all agree on this. Ok, ok, you won't try this one... a pity!

Finally, since we are in July, take to the waves! Sea air, salt water and the sound of waves. And forget any inducted stress... noone will ever be able to conditione you to consume when you'r listening to the waves...

Ok, I hope you will not criticize me too much for having written the crap above. And I hope I'll get some feedback from you all. I mean: should we only reverse things that are somehow quantificable? Shouldn't we begin to reverse our own (inducted) feelings?
Our own lifes?

See ya

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Reality cracking

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